Why Did I Start This Blog Anyway? (Part 1)

Well, I'll Tell You!

I have made an early New Year's resolution to myself to get prettier.

Yeah, everyone is pretty. Yes, beauty is second to intelligence.

But! Beauty, or more specifically effort put forth towards achieving prettiness, can boost confidence!

The first thing on my list is to lose weight. And it is this exact goal which has prompted me to start this prettiness-escapade. I am a gal who has suffered from b.e.d. (binge eating disorder) and emotional eating for most of my life, intermittently with losing a whole bunch of weight by being on a diet.

I recently started vlogging with this brand new diet idea: I was going t count calories and plan my meals the day before and weigh myself everyday and be oh-so-good and become the skinniest damn girlie this world has seen!

Well, two weeks in and over four major binges later, I was disgusted with myself and downtrodden. What do you do when the thing that helps you is hurting you? You ask "why". And the answer is that I was dieting. Period. The answer is that I have been dieting and hating myself and making up rules around food and eating and weight to the point that I didn't even like eating anymore. I hated it.

Now I'm doing Intuitive Eating. I have been doing it for a little over a week now. I don't think I have lost any weight, but I do know that I have calmed down a lot! I am in a phase of disarming foods though exposure; a.k.a. eating foods I have told myself I wasn't allowed to because of different reasons ("eat something healthier", "If you start eating that you'll never stop, so don't start", etcetera). 

I like the calmness that has been coming on. I'm going to continue. I haven't lost any weight yet, as I said, but I haven't gained any either. In fact, I think my legs look pretty good recently. I'll maybe do a post on Intuitive Eating at some point when I have more experience under my belt.

Hold the banana phone! There was a tangent in there! I'm going to reign that in and explaaaaaiiiiin the original Pretty Project here. "Pretty Project". I rather like that. ( *o u o *)
Part Two coming up!