Norris and Presley Were Jerks

Hello Everyboooody!

I didn't ask before, but how was Christmas for you guys?

Mine was pretty nice.

I went with the fiancee to his Aunt and Uncle's house for dinner. We chatted it up and ate his Aunt's amaaaaazing food. Mmm.

But then there was a person there who made things interesting.

His name is Bill. He is a martial arts teacher in his 70's, and is a pretty spry guy. Well, Bill was hilarious. But the problem is that I felt he was flirting with me (a 22-year-old engaged young lady) the entire dinner. Eeks!

Let me tell you about Bill's experiences in the world. This guy has apparently fought with Elvis Presley and Chuck Norris. And I believe him. What I do not believe is his image of these two famous people.

Bill: "And that was the day I ended up meeting Elvis!"
Me: "Oh. Wasn't Elvis Presley sort of a jerky guy?"
Bill: "Oh, no no no, Sweetheart!"--touches my shoulder--"He was such a gentleman!"

[goes on to talk about how Elvis "accidentally" kicked him in the groin three times over in a warm up session at a martial arts studio whilst touching my shoulder five more times]

Elvis = Satan?

Bill: "Do you happen to know who Chuck Norris is?"

Me: "Haha! Well, yeah. And I also know, truly, that he is a Republican jerk."

Bill: "Nooo! Darlin' let me tell you about how nice this guy is."

Chuck Norris not only lit a box Bill was in on the set of Walker Texas Ranger on fire, but he also was a total child about some match their respective students had and was super duper prideful and.. well, jerky. In addition, Norris once invited his friends to dinner at Beni-Freaking-Hana's and then--oopsie dasies!-- forgot his wallet. Also, he likes dogs. I mean, really, I am not persuaded to like Norris by these accounts with him. 

I lost track of the shoulder touches, by the way. But, there were a lot.

Anywho, that was my Christmas: getting flirted with by an old man who has an apparently difficult time giving credit where it is due.

-Kat